Turn the Bewitching Hour Into Mommy & Daddy Happy Hour

This scenario is all too common. Recognize it? Is this your household? 5:30 hits, the kids are cranky, singing loudly, asking questions, pushing siblings, the kitchen is hot and steaming with chicken baking in the oven while you answer the phone and say, “I can’t hear you, I’m a mom.”

It’s no secret that moms have a hard time finding time for themselves, let alone finding time to reconnect with their spouse. Many moms tend to accept the role as #3 on the family totem pole, with the order being, kids first, hubby second and then herself last. No wonder moms feel so isolated and burnt out. Does a mom really have to have an empty nest before she can properly take care of herself? What message does that send her kids? Romi Lassally, the website founder and author of the new book, True Mom Confessions: Real Moms Get Real, says, “We need to follow the airlines instructions and assist ourselves first so we can be there for others.”

I certainly know that moms spend very little time nurturing themselves or taking time away from the family for mommy cherishing activities.

Who said that once we become a mom that we shouldn’t indulge in mommy confidence building moments? Moms need confidence and balance to be a good parent and wife. A burnt out mommy is NOT a good thing. Moms need help more than kids do. How can a mom care-take her family if she is not taking care of herself?

I’m a real nice mom when I’m not running the rat race. If I get sucked in to over-scheduling or try to handle too much at once I begin to feel the mean mommy come out. Who wants a mean mommy?

I make a point to set up what I call, “Happy Hour Speed Date” with my husband. I arrange a sitter to come over from 5-7 pm to watch the kids. My husband and I enjoy a lovely time at one of the local bars flirting, eating and reconnecting. We have made this a regular routine that we try to do a once or twice per month. We come home from our speed date by 7:30 tuck our little tikes into bed and feel great that everybody wins!

Making a conscious effort to take time for your self is essential for good mothering. A happy woman makes a happy mom and a happy wife :-)

*********************

Kimberley Clayton Blaine is a national parenting expert and a licensed Family and Child Therapist who specializes in working with children ages newborn to six years old. Kimberley is the founder and executive producer of a grassroots webshow, called www.TheGoToMom.TV. Kimberley is a national speaker and teaches Early Childhood Brain Development and Positive Discipline Strategies at UCLA Extension Education Department.

Read Kimberley’s new book, Mommy Confidence: 8 Easy Steps to Reclaiming Balance, Motivation and Your Inner Diva at www.mommyconfidence.com

Tags: &, Daddy, Happy, Hour, Mommy, TMFC, TMParenting, go, mom, the, More…to

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Comment by Beth Ann Bentley on April 8, 2009 at 8:01pm: Getting out is sometime, often times, out of the question for us. However, we still open up the wine or pour ourselves a refreshing cocktail and declare it is Mommy and Daddy time and tell the kids to solve their own problems for a while, or go play and just let us finish a sentence, a thought, a breath. They are young and it is all good, but there are times I want to be alone with my husband and I want times even without (maybe especially without) my husband. Thanks for the reminder.

BA

Comment by Kaui Hemmings on April 8, 2009 at 10:20am: That's advice I can take.

Comment by Kimberley Clayton Blaine on April 7, 2009 at 1:08pm: Meredith, Yes, most moms say, I can't leave it's dinner and bath time, my kids melt down at the time.... my response is "exactly." Children are less likely to melt down with others as they do for parents...So go out and take a break every now and then, right?

Comment by Meredith on April 7, 2009 at 1:02pm: What a great idea, turn the most stress filled time of day into a date - wouldn't have thought to get a sitter at that time. Am going to try it pronto. Good for newborns too, as I'll be back in time for the next feed. Love it!

Comment by Kimberley Clayton Blaine on April 6, 2009 at 1:31pm: Christine, I know that stag you are in! Yes, it quite the zombie syndrome. Congrats on your new baby! But I know anyone with a toddlers craves a fun get-a-way every now and then! Enjoy this time with your new baby :-)

Comment by Kimberley Clayton Blaine on April 6, 2009 at 6:56am: Thanks for sharing KidOrganizer! So important to fit in those mini dates right?

Comment by Kid Organizer on April 5, 2009 at 8:26pm: You are on the money! Since my husband and I have very busy schedules, we would put the kids in bed at 9:00 Sunday night, pop the cork on a bottle of chilled Chardonay, and watch our favorite show for an hour and spend the next hour chatting and reconnecting. I made sure to turn off my computer, which happens to be an extension of my arm, and tune into my time with my husband.
Now that my kids are older, their bedtimes are later, and they're now sitting between me and my husband. So now we've moved our "date night" out to one of the local restaurants.
As a psychotherapist who works with disorganized children, I am assisting frustrated parents on how to help themselves and their children. Like the flight attendants say, " You must take care of yourself before you can take care of your child"......how true!

Marcella
www.thekidorganizer.com