Divorce And Stress: How To Manage Your Stress While Splitting Up
Divorce can be a source of significant stress for both spouses. When a marriage ends, each person often feels a mixture of strong negative feelings regarding the other person. The stress commonly escalates as disputes arise. Resentment over perceived betrayals, fear of economic loss, and concern over future romantic endeavors are common.
While eliminating the stress of your divorce may seem impossible, there are a variety of things that you can do to manage it and mitigate its effect on your life.We'll offer a few tips toward that end below.
Manage Your Internal Mental State
Managing stress begins with identifying the specific sources of anxiety and isolating them. Identifying whether an event is stressful for emotional or financial reasons will be helpful in working through the problem.
Remember that everything is temporary to some extent and that you will recover even in the event that the most unfavorable outcomes occur. Debts will be paid off, new relationships will form, and relationships with offspring can be maintained over long distances and made stronger as the child grows up.In time, the negative experiences will become just another chapter in your life.
A common way to reduce stress over specific difficulties is to understand the nature of each difficulty. For example, consider how divorce courts approach individual cases...
Each state has its own laws regarding the dissolution of a marriage and courts generally follow those guidelines. What constitutes community property, the guidelines for child support and custody, and each spouse’s rights and obligations are spelled out in the law. If you cannot locate this information, speak with an experienced family law attorney. Knowing what lies ahead is far better than experiencing tension over uncertainty.
When you learn more about how courts dissolve marriages, you may identify areas of ambiguity. Discretion over certain arrangements lies with the presiding judge and it is difficult to know in advance whether a judge will rule in your favor. Each party’s arguments will carry different amounts of weight with each judge. As a result, you should be prepared to adjust your expectations. Managing your expectations is an important part of avoiding undue anxiety.
Be neither excessively optimistic nor pessimistic. Excessive optimism will cause significant tension when the situation resolves in a less than optimal manner. Excessive pessimism will cause unnecessary pain over things that are unlikely to occur. To wit, expecting to be happily married again in a month or expecting to be forced into bankruptcy are both unlikely options. Instead, take a pragmatic view of the situation and realize that there may be some difficulties ahead, but that you will overcome them.
Organizing one’s internal processes is easier said than done. It may be difficult to re-calibrate your expectations and focus on the positive attributes of the future. In the event that the issues seem to be too much to handle, seek out a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist. Constantly dwelling upon personal issues can set the stage for other problems, such as major depressive disorder. Interpersonal therapy can provide you with the tools necessary to control your anxiety and blood pressure.
Avoid Starting New Bad Habits
Stress commonly motivates a string of unhealthy behaviors that can cause additional problems. Significant dietary changes can lead to sudden weight gain or weight loss. Irregular sleeping patterns can leave you feeling irritable with inconsistent energy levels throughout the day. Reduced social contact can lead to social anxiety and further isolation.
It will be difficult to revert to healthier behaviors once unhealthy behaviors have become habitual. Make a conscious effort to avoid breaking routine, and instead try to pick up healthier habits.
Tension can make you feel fatigued and unable to exercise. It's important to work against it. Exercise is a particularly valuable method of stress relief as it promotes physical health and provides a healthy outlet for tension and strain. It also leads to the release of endorphins, which can improve your mood. Exercise does not require an expensive gym membership or strict workout regimen; performing simple calisthenics or running around the neighborhood can have a positive effect on your life.
If you find it difficult to work up the strength or motivation to exercise, begin with a relatively low impact routine like walking. Hiking is a low-stress form of exercise in quiet areas with fresh air that will give you time to enjoy the outdoors. Once you have been acclimated to low-intensity activity, it becomes easier to transition to strenuous exercises like running and weight lifting.
Take Action To Move On
Do not permit a divorce to consume your life. It is just one aspect of one romantic relationship in what should otherwise be a rich and rewarding life. It becomes easier to keep such a perspective once you focus on your other priorities.
Take advantage of opportunities to meet with friends and meet new people. Rather than jumping into a rebound relationship at the first possible opportunity, keep your options open. Meeting new people will allow you to see new desirable qualities that you may not have been exposed to in your prior relationship. If you find it difficult to meet new people, take up a hobby that you enjoy that puts you around other like-minded individuals.