The average American family has two kids. My family has two kids. Theoretically we should fit just fine in the average hotel room.
Three weeks ago, we rented a charming house in Sonoma for a post-holiday getaway. It had 2 bedrooms, each with a queen size bed. My husband and I took one, and---as we've done about a million times before---put our kids Avery (9) and Max (6) in the other.
Here is a brief transcript from that night:
Avery: Don't touch me! Ow! Mommy! Max kicked me!
Max: I didn't! You touched me.
Avery: You're lying!
No I'm not!
Me: Go to sleep now or I'm canceling both your birthdays.
Avery: My birthday was three weeks ago.
Me: No! More! Talking!
(extremely brief silence)
Avery: Mommeee! Max keeps touching me.
Now Max is kicking off the blankets! I'm freezing!
But I'm HOT!
Avery: Can I just sleep on the floor? Please?
My husband and I were perplexed (not to mention totally furious). Obviously we didn't expect our kids to sleep together on vacation forever
, but we thought we had a few more years. Apparently not.
The next weekend we were off to San Francisco to review a hotel for my website. Not willing to risk a repeat performance of Sonoma, we decided to divide and conquer. I would sleep with my son; my husband would sleep with my daughter. Crisis would be averted.
Here is a picture of my son taken the following morning. Sweet, right?
I have never had a worse night's sleep in my life. His feet were all over me. I tried pushing him away. I tried rolling him over. I tried building a pillow barricade between us. Nothing worked. Also, he kicked the covers off of us all night long. Around 3am, I gave up trying to cling to the blanket and swaddled myself in it like a burrito instead. Finally, he kicked, elbowed, and head-butted me all night long.
No wonder my daughter hates sleeping with him.
I don't know how we're going to handle hotel sleeping arrangements in the future, but I have exactly two weeks to figure it out. Should I force my husband to sleep with him? Request a roll away? Take a sleeping pill? Just stay home? I'd be grateful for your advice.
Jamie Pearson is a freelance writer, mother of two, and publisher of the family travel website Travel Savvy Mom. She prefers to sleep alone.