Today, I have preparations on my mind. Preparing for transitions.
Preparing myself mentally for returning to work in 4 months. Preparing
my body and mind for my next pregnancy and birth.

My happy boy.

Tomorrow my baby turns 8 months. 8 months ago at this time, I was in
the throws of labour, contractions and unbelievably intense pain. I'm
done 2/3rds of my Maternity leave. It feels like it's been such a short
time. Tonight, as I was nursing him to sleep, I started having a bit
of a panic attack when I thought of going back to work in 4 months. I
can't imagine leaving him for so many hours everyday. I can't believe
that I am going to miss out on so much. Right now I see him all the
time. I know what kind of mood(s) he was in all day. I know how much
he slept. I know how often he peed and pooped and ate. I know what he
ate. I know what he wore and what he smelled like. I know how good or
bad his eczema was throughout the day. I know which toys he played
with, and which books he looked at. I know everything about his life. I
can't imagine not knowing everything.

I worry about his sleep if I'm not around. He's starting to go to sleep
on his own once in a while, but it's really more the exception than the
rule. He still nurses to sleep for naps, and especially for bed time.
I worry about how his caregiver will be able to get him to sleep. I
worry about what a difficult transition that will be him. And for me.

But I can't stay home. Not while we're in the position we are in. My
husband was recently laid off from his job, and well...we can't live off
the government forever, nor do we want to!

And, I know that 4 months in a baby's life makes a huge difference. The next 4 months will bring forth many new developments.

The other transition on my mind is preparing for my next pregnancy and
consequent birth. So far Operation: Get Body Ready for VBAC (GBRFVBAC)
has been going very well! At least the exercise part. Which is a
surprise because in my last post I talked about how eating healthy is
the easy part, and exercise is hell. Turns out it's the opposite. I
have actually worked out every weekday morning (I took the weekend
off...I was really sore) since I decided it was time to get in shape.
I'm so proud of myself. I. AM. AWESOME. My husband thinks so too.
Just sayin.

Eating healthy, on the other hand...well, I wouldn't say I eat fun-sized
candy bars and Rockets all day (it is just after Halloween, after all),
but I wouldn't say I don't either. I eat healthy food. I also eat
candy. And potato chips. And some other delicious junk. I'm working
on it. Even though I may or may not be eating potato chips as I write
this.

Whatever. Don't judge me. They're worth it.

Read full post here > http://highheelhippiemommy.blogspot.com/2010/11/preparing-for-trans...