Pregnancy is Best Left to the Young *with some exceptions

I remember reading somewhere that the physically ideal age to get pregnant is in your early to mid-twenties. The study talked about how a woman's body is prime to handle the physical demand at that time. The study made sure to talk about only the physical aspects and didn't discuss mental preparedness or choice times career-wise.

They were right. Honey, let me tell you, this is my third shot at this rodeo and things feel quite different this time around. I was pregnant with my first child at 25. I was in great health, top physical condition and skipped right through those 9 months with ease.

My second child came just under two years ago and while I was beat over the head with morning sickness, I again sailed through the last two-thirds pretty carefree. I noticed my hips were a little more sore and my waddle a bit more pronounced, but other than that - no biggie.

I am now 31. I am blessed to be pregnant again and I'm just really uncomfortable. I'm more tired, more out of sorts and at only 14 weeks my damn hip is hurting already! I feel the discomforts of pregnancy more than I ever have before and to be honest I feel a little old. Going to bed at 10 doesn't sound so bad right now.

Now I don't want to scare anyone away from getting pregnant after a certain age and there are some exceptions to my new declaration:

Women who have never been pregnant. It doesn't matter if you have your first child well after 30, you don't have anything to compare it to, it's all new to you so take heart and birth away!

Women who have not had a baby in a while or have forgotten what it was like last time. You guys are almost as well off as the first timers. You have a vague idea, but in general you probably only remember the high points.

Women like the "octo-mom" and the Duggar's mom who pop out kids like carnival candy. There's no way to compete or compare with that.

Is it just me or are some of you moms feeling a little more these days than you use to?

Tags: TMFC, TMParenting, parenting, pregnancy

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Comment by Callie Domingues on March 1, 2009 at 3:31pm: I understand completely!

I had my first at 24, my second at 27 and my third at 30 and I felt like a train wreck!

Where in the world did I get the energy from with my other two? LOL, I wouldn't trade any of my time being pregnant, but....could I really do this again? I am definitely a lot heavier than I used to be, and boy it would really stink to work off all of this weight knowing I am going to gain 35+ again.....

Congratulations on baby #3!!

Blessings and many happy wishes!!

Comment by dee foster on February 28, 2009 at 5:43pm: I feel you, and I hate to put a damper on this post but it hurts my heart everytime I see it and now that I have an opportunity to comment on it I will. The Octo-Mom as she has been called, does have a name. She had been dehumanized enough. I certainaly don't agree with her choosing to have more babies and she already has 6 and a single parent. But they are here now. She has a name, Nadia, I could be wrong, but the point is we as moms should show more compassion and not fall in the media trap.

As a mom of five i can definitely vouch for the age issue. I had last at 38 and he is four years old, and in addition to the physical strain the pregnancy place on my body, but having the physical and the emotional endurance to deal with his little tantrums LOL plus i think right now my hormones are starting to have a life of their own .... and some days I just don't know... But he is yet a gift and it does help to have his older siblings and my honey to help out when I have had enough. blessings to all.

Comment by Kim Jones on February 27, 2009 at 8:37am: My story is exactly the opposite. My first was at 20 and I had an ovarian cyst rupture followed by preeclampsia so I spent a lot of quality time in the hospital. My second was at 24 and pre-term labor meant going in the hospital monthly for 2 - 3 day courses of mag sulfate because the oral albuteral would "wear off." Number 3, the easiest, came along at 28. No problems, no meds, no hospital stays. Number 4 (at 33) would have been an easy ride if pre-term labor at 20 weeks hadn't have meant a circlage followed by bed rest.

I agree with Katie - every woman's body is different and will react differently. Here's hoping that things get easier for you Terreece and congrats on number 3! :)

Comment by Alison (AJae) Jerabek on February 26, 2009 at 7:23pm: Regardless on your own personal feelings on this topic, you've got to admit one thing about this excellently-written post:

"[E]xceptions to my new declaration....Women like the "octo-mom" and the Duggar's mom who pop out kids like carnival candy. There's no way to compete or compare with that." is sheer comedic genius.

Bravo!

Comment by Katie on February 26, 2009 at 12:40pm: I am 22, i had my first at 19, second at 20. I gained 40 pounds with my first and 38 with my second. I lost all the weight but have stretch marks, thin breasts and the whole thing. it took a toll on my body plus i had morning sickness the entire time! with both and was even on a prescription throughout both. i'm very young but it was NO easier on me than an older woman. i think it is different for everyone. not one pregnancy is the same.

Comment by desiree on February 25, 2009 at 9:36pm: I had two early (23 and 26). Thought I was finished and surprise at 31 (with twins). I was sicker than a dog with all three pregnancies gained a ton of weight and had big healthy babies (9.4oz, 10.9oz, 7.12oz and 6.8oz). I don't think there is a "right" time. There are pluses and minuses at any stage. You just need to enjoy it at that moment in time.≈desiree

Comment by Robin Sampson on February 25, 2009 at 11:48am: I found out I was pregnant with child 9 at 46! I had number 8 at 44. What a blessing. I loved every minute of every pregnancy. You are right I only remember the highs.

Now everyone ask if my sons are my grandsons. That's ok they are my sweet blessings. I'm 53 now. I recently heard a 55 year old woman gave birth and told my DH there is still hope LOL.

Blessings,
Robin
http://heartofwisdom.com/blog

Comment by Rachele on February 25, 2009 at 9:04am: Congratulations on #3.

Now, I must agree to disagree with you on the rest. You're right that I have nothing to compare it to, but I had my first child at 35 and absolutely loved everything about being pregnant. I felt great, had no morning sickenss, continued to work 50+ hours a week in a very demanding high paced restaurant where I was on my feet most of the time. I gained 12 pounds and delivered a healthy 7lb 7oz baby almost 6 years ago.
I delivered another angel just after turning 38. She was 7lbs12 ozs and I gained 10 pounds in the 9 months before she was born. I have no stretch marks, was completely comfortable with both and would do it again except for the fact that 2 is totally plenty (for me).
I'm sorry that you are having a harder time but know that "older" woman can do it just as well as younger ones and wanted to let them know.