Squeaky clean R&B star Chris Brown is accused of assaulting his girlfriend R&B singer Rhianna. While perusing the news sites and some of the not-so-news sites and in reading the comments the usual edict of "men should never hit women" came up over and over.
I use to agree with this whole-heartedly. However, today the more I read people's arguments that no matter what a woman does a man should never hit her, I began to think about how stupid that sounds.
"Men should never hit women and women should never hit men."
When did it become cool to give anyone a free pass to do whatever they want with the assurance that they are always in the right? Now before anyone jumps and accuses me of blaming the victim - I don't know what happened with the young stars and I'm as saddened by the incident like everyone else, but I am not going raise my daughters to believe in this ultra-PC double standard.
My girls are equal to any person, regardless of race or gender and they do not have the right to do whatever they want to another person.
They do not have the right to hit their boyfriends or husband.
They do not have the right to go to a significant other's house and "get revenge" by destroying property.
This behavior isn't cute, funny or applause-worthy. How about we stop putting a gender caveat on the situation and teach - don't hit. Period.
No one earns or deserves a beat-down, we need to teach ALL of our children coping mechanisms to deal with difficulties in a relationship and to know when it's time to leave before things get out of hand.
I'm pregnant with my third child that we think is a boy. I will teach him like I teach my girls that no one has the right to hurt you and you don't have the right to hurt ANYONE else.
I will also have to teach him some hard lessons including what to do if he's ever pulled over by the cops as a black male to stay alive and protect his rights and that no matter the situation, he is always guilty until proven innocent if he is ever accused of domestic violence. Neither are fair, but both are the realities of the world in which he will grow up.
Intimate Partner Violence Against Men