Do Women Who Are Close with Their Mothers Need Girlfriends?


Over the years there have been certain women who I have grown close to who I truly adore but after a few months they literally drift away. In all kindness, I tend to see them as flakes. But I think I may have discovered the link that has been a mystery to me about these women.

The common traits these gals shared were:

• They were super sweet and highly social moms
• They were very close to their mother
• The activities they did with their mom were things you’d normally do with a best friend (shop, do lunch, get pedicures, hang out with kids, and spend weekends, holidays and vacations together)

I’m not criticizing women who fit this description. All I’m saying is that I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why these new mommy friends weren’t accepting my offers for a mommy play date, a BBQ or a fun night out with our hubbies. There was no secrecy either about what these moms were doing to fulfill their social needs. They were open about how they were spending time with their moms – for example they would go to an events together, get mom’s help to redecorate, spend a ski vacation with mom, or simply state that her son can’t attend my sons party because she’s in Big Bear that weekend with HER parents.

The reason I feel I have solved the mystery is because there have been a few families that my family has been trying to bond with because our kids play well together. But over the years of being turned down on every single invitation to get together, I can now see why.

As I said, these women were super sweet and social. So it’s not that they don’t want to get together…it’s that they don’t need any extra close relationships. If they have mom to hang with and if mom fulfills the role of a best friend, why take on any more friends?

I get it now. However, I personally need and crave to be around other women -- and I need my gal friends. I couldn’t possibly see my mom playing all those roles in my life. No way. I love to have steamy tell all conversations with my gals about sex and love and that just doesn’t work with mom, know what I mean?

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Tags: TMFC, TMparenting, friends, go, mom, moms, the, to

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Comment by Elizabeth Sagarminaga on May 28, 2014 at 10:20pm

Girls who are close to their mommies need not have girlfriends. They can share everything with their mothers. They can spend time with their mothers and can rid all the tension; this helps them know better about life. Nothing is more beautiful than the relationship of a mother and a daughter. 

Comment by Lena on June 16, 2010 at 11:52am
I think these women might feel a lot of unjustified guilt and obligation that they HAVE TO do everything with their mom. I don't think it is good for them as they are probably completely dependent on their mom's opinions and afraid to say no. I think a "good" mom would encourage her daughter to form other friendships.

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