But What Did You Learn?
Recently I attempted something new. Something I not only had never done before, but also that I was very unsure about. To be honest, it went much further than simply being unsure. I was down-right terrified of stepping out of my comfort zone and taking this particular risk. If I failed it was going to be in front of a lot of people. And what would they think of me then?
What do we do when we start to doubt ourselves? We begin to question ourselves. Honestly, that's not always a bad thing. It caused me to think back on other times I've taken big risks, both in my personal and business life. I'm the kind of person who loves taking calculated risks, even when they're terrifying, because I know it's one of the quickest routes to growth.
So, I've taken a lot of risks in my life. Sometimes it has resulted in huge wins. Other times I fell flat on my face, bruising my ego and stiffling my urge to try again anytime soon.
At those times - times of great "failure" - I have learned to ask myself the following question. 'But what did you learn?'
I've also learned that approaching failure in this way often turns what seemed to be a major loss into an educational win. There are very few experiences in life that we can't learn valuable lessons from.
As it turns out, my most recent endeavour, although uncomfortable at times, has been a nice success with lots of wins, and chances for learning and growth throughout. Not to mention all of the wonderful new women, peers and coaching clients I have had the pleasure of connecting with as a result.
I was able to push through the initial fear, and try, because I continually remind myself that every new experience is an opportunity for success and growth regardless of the outcome.
So, the next time you find yourself holding back out of fear, allow yourself to reflect back on past "trys", and ask yourself 'But what did I learn?' You might find yourself pleasantly surprised at the answers, and your newfound motivation and determination to push through the fear and take a huge step forward in your life or business.
Now go out, take lots of risks, and make it a great day!
Viki
Viki Stanley-Hutchison
Certified Life & Business Coach
Life Transitions for Women
www.lifetransitionsforwomen.com
What do we do when we start to doubt ourselves? We begin to question ourselves. Honestly, that's not always a bad thing. It caused me to think back on other times I've taken big risks, both in my personal and business life. I'm the kind of person who loves taking calculated risks, even when they're terrifying, because I know it's one of the quickest routes to growth.
So, I've taken a lot of risks in my life. Sometimes it has resulted in huge wins. Other times I fell flat on my face, bruising my ego and stiffling my urge to try again anytime soon.
At those times - times of great "failure" - I have learned to ask myself the following question. 'But what did you learn?'
I've also learned that approaching failure in this way often turns what seemed to be a major loss into an educational win. There are very few experiences in life that we can't learn valuable lessons from.
As it turns out, my most recent endeavour, although uncomfortable at times, has been a nice success with lots of wins, and chances for learning and growth throughout. Not to mention all of the wonderful new women, peers and coaching clients I have had the pleasure of connecting with as a result.
I was able to push through the initial fear, and try, because I continually remind myself that every new experience is an opportunity for success and growth regardless of the outcome.
So, the next time you find yourself holding back out of fear, allow yourself to reflect back on past "trys", and ask yourself 'But what did I learn?' You might find yourself pleasantly surprised at the answers, and your newfound motivation and determination to push through the fear and take a huge step forward in your life or business.
Now go out, take lots of risks, and make it a great day!
Viki
Viki Stanley-Hutchison
Certified Life & Business Coach
Life Transitions for Women
www.lifetransitionsforwomen.com
Comment
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Comment by Viki Stanley-Hutchison on March 27, 2009 at 7:05pm -
Hi Erin,
Thank you for your comment. I think most people, but especially women, tend to have that "inner critic" that always has an opinion of it's own. The most important thing you can do is be aware of those negative thoughts that pop up. A great way to do that is to carry a small notebook with you and each time a negative comment pops up write it down. Most of my clients are surprised to find that the same negative self-talk comes up for them time and time again. Once you have a record of your most common mis-assumptions or mis-judgements of yourself, then you can begin to replace those negatives with alternate positive statements. Instead of 'I'm such a failure' how about 'I've failed on many occasions, but I'm never afraid to take a risk and see what I can accomplish and what I can learn in the process'. Instead of 'wow, I'm so lousy at this' how about 'wow, this is something that I'm not currently skilled at, but I know that if it's important to me then with practice and perseverence I will get better at it'. Instead of 'boy I look fat today' how about 'boy, this is not my most flattering outfit, but I know I look killer in my dark denim jeans and navy t-shirt'.
Your negative self-talk may be different, but you can always change your story, your way of thinking, and most importantly your way of communicating with yourself. In order to be present and powerful for the people you love, you first have to be present and powerful for yourself! So go to work on those positive statements and let me know how it's going for you!
Have a great night!
Viki
Viki Stanley-Hutchison
Certified Life & Business Coach
Life Transitions for Women
www.lifetransitionsforwomen.com
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Comment by Erin on March 20, 2009 at 4:07pm -
Enjoyed your post and congrats to you for taking new risks! What do you say, though, to that critical inner voice that wants to rake you over the coals for attempting something new? I'm okay with making mistakes and having failures, but my inner critic apparently isn't.
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