We've all seen the P90X workout infomercials, loaded with impossibly fit folks singing the praises of the program. The before-and-after shots are crazy inspiring -- but come on. It's an ad. And one more Ding Dong isn't going to kill you, right?

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It wasn't my best day as a mother.

Let me set the scene: me, five years ago, sitting on a bench in the Target pharmacy, nursing my squalling newborn. I try to cover my belly without smothering the baby, ducking behind my grocery-laden cart. Antsy four-year-old climbs on the cart, dismantles product displays, plays with the blood pressure machine... and my own blood pressure rises as I eye the kooky-looking guy in the condom aisle.

What I really needed back then was our new…

When you grow up surrounded by cornfields, what is the statistical likelihood that you'll one day be a marine biologist? I'm no math genius, but I'm guessing it's pretty low.

Somehow, our new SocialMom of the Month is beating those odds.

Meet…

As a mom who's recently gone back to work, part of my cherished morning routine -- after risking life and limb to wake up the crabbier of my two offspring -- takes place in my closet. My stuffed-full-but-containing-nothing-to-wear closet. This is where I go to be alone and... no, not meditate, but agonize. Over what to wear.

What I really, really want more than anything -- more, even, than world peace on the bad days when my laundry pile is taller than me -- is for someone to…

"OMG." My oldest daughter turned 9 this week. Oddly enough, for once I'm not freaking out about the passage of time. Instead, I'm preparing myself.

In the past year, I've purchased "Queen Bees & Wannabes" by Rosalind Wiseman (the book "Mean Girls" was based on). I've even downloaded a free guide designed to help parents talk to kids about sex. (When is the right time, anyway??) I know I should probably just relax and let the poor girl grow up, right?…