Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Natasha Allie on February 14, 2009 at 2:00pm

Hiya chick,

Well I was scared when I found out I was pregnant as I was having a hard time at home and with my health. Was so worried how I was going to cope with two kids but now that she's here I find that i'm coping alot better that I thought I would. The first few months were really hard, trying to balance two kids who both have very different needs, also trying my hardest not to push Charlotte out for Emily but I now seem to have reached a balance between the two. It's not been easier as I forgot how time consuming and difficult it is looking after a newborn and how much is drains you. My two kids are my life though and I wouldn't change it for the world. I'd say i'm not wanting to have anymore but both of my kids weren't planned and apparently I have to have a boy to carry on the other halfs surname (he's an only child) lol! Yeah, in your dreams love haha!

I will say this girls, cherish these moments as the first year flys by and before you know it you've got a toddler on your hands and wondering where the years have gone. Also take loads and loads of pictures. I've got so many of Charlotte as a baby and am making sure I get loads of Emily aswell to help me remember these special moments.

Tash x

Permalink Reply by Niki Evans on February 14, 2009 at 2:26pm

hey.Helen im sat right next to you on the front seat of that rollercoaster!! i never dreamed it would be this hard, not just the act of being a mum but the constant second guessing of my decisions wondering if im doing the right thing. dont get me wrong i'm loving every minute of it and wouldnt change anything...except maybe how quickly Jack is growing up. people always said to me dont blink you might miss it and my god were they right...lol. everytime he does something new i'm pleased and emotional on one hand and worrying like mad on the other. mums ey, what are we like!

the one thing i wish i was told when i was pregnant is that breastfeeding isnt always as natural and easy as they make it out to be. i know some mum/babies take to it straight away and breeze through with no problems but it was a totally different story for me and alot of others i have come across since sharing my experiences. Jack was very slow to feed and ended up losing 17% of his birthweight and was very thin and baggy skinned. he was always ravenous and wasnt content at all. after weeks of expressing and bottle feeding and sleepless tearfull nights and days he cracked it though and we are now at 14 weeks, exclusively breastfeeding and reaping the rewards(apart from an attack of mastitis just as we thought everything was going well.lol).
i think alot more mums would persevere with breastfeeding if they were warned when pregnant that this could happen as it was a huge shock to me and i felt like i had failed for ages.

anyway enough of my rambling.

xx

Permalink Reply by PrincessTwink on February 14, 2009 at 2:54pm

NOT AT ALL LIKE ANYTHING I EVER EXPECTED!!!!!! LMAO!!!!

The last 8 years have been the most joyous, wonderful, frantic, hair pulling, stressful, fantastic years of my life!!! If someone said to me all those years ago that it was possible to feel every human emotion all at the same time, i would have laughed, but I am sure there have been occasions!! LOL!!

The hardest thing for me was to learn to deal with it all on my own. Having noone to share the little moments with and having to deal with absolutely everything with no support from someone else has been my biggest acheivement after my daughter herself!!
Has it been hard? My god yes!!! But i wouldnt change a thing. Life throws these things at us for a reason and hopefully I will keep finding the strength to get through and prepare for the next stage of this adventure!!

Permalink Reply by EmilysMummy on February 15, 2009 at 3:51am

The first few months where very hard as Darren was working and I was left on my own with no family near me to help, got even worse when she got colic and screamed all day, I ended up sitting on the floor crying with her once I just couldnt take anymore! It is getting a bit easier *touches wood*. Darren isnt working now so he's here to help and share the responsibility. It has been alot different to what I thought it would be but in a good way, I expected lots of puke etc but didnt get much (yet lol). Its very hard finacially at the moment at tax credits are dragging there heals and Income Support isnt going far but we're just doing ok, cant afford anything for ourselves but or daughter is more important anyway.
But its far from easy, its such an emotional rollercoaster and I wanted to get off after a few weeks but then realised I cant! This rollercoaster doesnt stop lol. But I love my daughter and no matter how hard it gets I will always love her =)
xxx

Permalink Reply by fairy cakes on February 15, 2009 at 6:32am

In the beginning i will be honest and thought id made a huge mistake, till seren was 6/7 weeks she was a nightmare, i slept on the sofa and couldnt foresee ever gettin bac to my bed!!!

but now i think its come to be what i knew it was gonna be like, the attachment i find i have to her is alot stronger than i ever imagined it would be...
i also find my self second gussesin as where before once id made my mind up that was it...
im lookin forward to all the years to come now, and cant wait t have number 2 lol

Permalink Reply by Pinkmoo on February 15, 2009 at 10:53am

I was absolutely scared stiff, but I have to admit I never expected it to be the emotional rollercoaster it is! I never thought I could be so in love with a little person like I am, and if she hurts I hurt x10! But I have found it easier to look after her than I thought I would, I was really scared about whether I would know when to change her nappy and stuff like that, but it does just come naturally and is not as bad as I thought that part was going to be. So in answer some of it is easier and some of it is so much not what I thought it would be,

Permalink Reply by Racheljonah on February 16, 2009 at 1:52pm

Ok, this is my take on motherhood, it's so much better than i expected, my daughter is the love of my life i always thought people who said they were "born to be a mum" had missed the point, but actually i'm the one who'd missed the point and i'm just so glad i'm here now writing this. I've had some low points, but the highs are amazing

Permalink Reply by Racheljonah on February 16, 2009 at 1:59pm

Am with Niki on the bf problems, i've had so many problems , have finally got it sorted and Emily is now on the 4th rather than the 3rd centile, was having weekly visits from our health visiters! i've now been asked to become a bf councillor to help new mums, i think will give it a go as i dont know anyone round here and it sounds pathetic, but will be nice to talk to anyone who isn't a professional, can't help but help they'll want 2 talk about other stuff too.

Permalink Reply by Emmarella on February 17, 2009 at 11:00am

To be honest, although being a mummy is probably one of the hardest things I've done so far, it is not as difficult as I thought it was going to be. People seem to want to tell you their horror stories when they see you are pregnant- I was expecting to be up all night every night, have a thousand smelly nappies to deal with a day, be covered in baby vomit 24/7 etc and although we've had bad nights, smelly nappies and the odd sick-covered clothing moments it hasn't been as bad as some people have been inclined to make out. It was the same with labour- no one wants to tell you about their positive experiences, just the bad!!

I have had my lows, particularly in the early weeks- weeping uncontrollably, desperate for sleep and missing adult company but I am over that now and although I do still have the odd bad day I am learning to relax more and enjoy it. Eleanor is a wonderful baby and she makes everything worthwhile. She is so giggly, playful and a tad mischievous and everytime she does something new I am ringing round all and sundry to tell them all about it! I have bonded with her alot easier than I thought I would- I've never been a maternal person and not spent much time around babies so I was aprehensive on those last few weeks of pregnancy how I was going to be- but I fell in love the first second I saw her and now she is my everything.

I would say that this aside, it has been the biggest strain on my relationship with my fiance to date. Every little wrong doing seems a thousand times worse when you've had a bad day or little sleep. Those people that have children to 'bring them closer together' need their heads checking. Yes it has given us a stronger bond by sharing something so special but it has not been without its stresses and we have argued more than we ever did before. If we were not as strong as we were when we decided to start a family, I don't think we'd have pulled through those early weeks.

This has turned into a bit of an essay- not really had this chance to reflect before Helen, so thank you, good thread! xx

Permalink Reply by Mrs Flea on February 19, 2009 at 11:39am

I agree it's harder than I ever though t- but then, I never thought I'd be able to cope as well as I have! Up to having Emily, I'd never even held a baby, let alone take care of one. Scary - I paniced when they said I was being induced - oh my god, I'm not ready...........

Like Niki, I wish rather than push the breast feeding is best thing, I wish someone had turned round and said, yeah, you should try to do it, but this could go wrong..... I really struggled - no-one told me it can hurt like hell at first - and Emily dropped weight more than 10%. Then a midwife told me to start giving formula with no info to support it, which freaked me out totally.

Safe to say, it's been a HUGE learning curve - but I wouldn't change anything as I love my little Emily soooooooooooo much!
Wendy X