Nope, you're not.
If your having this many problems with your daughter after all this time, counseling may be needed.
It's not suppose to be that way. When you get to the "breaking point", there's an issue.
My son used to grind on my nerves, and it's because we're very much alike in personalities, but from what you've been going through is more than just "dual personalities" fighting it out.
I suggest finding a child development counselor and see what's going on.