What's an appropriate age for our daughters to wear makeup?

I have an 11 year old daughter and I am afraid of the "mommy can I wear makeup" question. I know our daughters have to grow up-I just do not want her to grow up to quick. Let me hear your thoughts and suggestions on this matter.

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Both my daughters started wearing a little bit of make-up at 11 or 12 and I decided to see what would happen if I made makeup a subject of partnership for us -- as if makeup was OUR thing together. It really worked because when they realized I wasn't going to be an adversary about makeup, they felt able to ask me for advice, etc. Eventually, that allowed me to say, "That's too much eyeliner for school," or whatever. Nowadays, I get my best makeup tips from my 18 year old, who is always on the forefront of good mascaras!
Hi Pamela thats great advice. I do let her wear lip gloss now. I am afraid of blush and eyeshadow even at 12 and 13. Do you think that I am nervous about her looking to old for her age. We all know what comes with that (older boys). Oh my !!! Just the thought makes me nervous.

Pamela Kramer said:
Introduce a little at a time. Maybe at 11 lipgloss and 12 blush and 13 eyeshadow - something along those lines. :)
Hi Suzy thanks for your response. How did your husband respond to your girls wearing makeup?

Suzy Welch said:
Both my daughters started wearing a little bit of make-up at 11 or 12 and I decided to see what would happen if I made makeup a subject of partnership for us -- as if makeup was OUR thing together. It really worked because when they realized I wasn't going to be an adversary about makeup, they felt able to ask me for advice, etc. Eventually, that allowed me to say, "That's too much eyeliner for school," or whatever. Nowadays, I get my best makeup tips from my 18 year old, who is always on the forefront of good mascaras!
the one thing I can say on this is if they want to wear it they will , with my now 18 year old the grand age came at 11 when she wanted to wear makeup , i was so against it nad said no. then one day i wnet to pick her up form school early as I had forgotten about a dentist apointment for her and when she came out of class she had the full gear on. that noight we discussed how this was not safe to borrow others make-up (very easy way to pass pink eye and so on) so we compromised on getting her own set that she had to pay for it, I met with the parents of her closest friends and we all came to agreement on what the kids could care with them ( that way even if they did share they all had the same stuff)i have not always agreed with her choices in the way she applied it but i got over it and so did her father.
My now eleven year could care less which makes it so much easier but i know the day will come and it will be addressed then.
Just remember that they want to immulate their friends so just keep a good eye on who they associate with and get to know their parents , try to have a talk with their mothers and see what rules they apply in their house and see if you all can agree on something it is much easier when the rule is universal.
This to me is an area that many have lost in recent times because kids dont really only have friends in their own neighborhood where all the parents know each other and talk . It is up to us as parents to reach out and make sure we know the families our kids are with. I usually try to have at least one party a year where i invite the parents of my kids friends over so even the kids see that we talk.
Thanks for your response Annette (nice name, mine is Nanette). Bra....OMG tell me about it. I wish I could push the boobies back in-to keep boys from looking at them. (LOL)Yes, that is another conversation.
Annette said:
My daughters (I have three) started wearing lip gloss at 11. At 12 and 13 they wore eyeshadow and mascara. At 14 and 15 then came the eyeliner. They are now 13, 15 and 16. None of them are heavy handed. I never had to say it was too much. I think that the "natural" bronzers and eyewear help to keep things at a minimum. Coupled with the fact that too much is more for the "goth" look. There are days that they do not wear any make up and they never do blush. I have noticed with each one that they each realized wearing make up was not all they thought it would be cracked up to be. There was the extra time in the morning to put it on, thus having to get up earlier. Then there was the taking off at night, hassle! Once they were given the permission to wear makeup it seemed once they got it out of their system to wear it the thrill of it was gone for them. However, the attention from boys comes not with the start of wearing make up but with the start of wearing a bra! That's a whole other story!!!
great advice Robin.

Robyn Tajzler said:
the one thing I can say on this is if they want to wear it they will , with my now 18 year old the grand age came at 11 when she wanted to wear makeup , i was so against it nad said no. then one day i wnet to pick her up form school early as I had forgotten about a dentist apointment for her and when she came out of class she had the full gear on. that noight we discussed how this was not safe to borrow others make-up (very easy way to pass pink eye and so on) so we compromised on getting her own set that she had to pay for it, I met with the parents of her closest friends and we all came to agreement on what the kids could care with them ( that way even if they did share they all had the same stuff)i have not always agreed with her choices in the way she applied it but i got over it and so did her father.
My now eleven year could care less which makes it so much easier but i know the day will come and it will be addressed then.
Just remember that they want to immulate their friends so just keep a good eye on who they associate with and get to know their parents , try to have a talk with their mothers and see what rules they apply in their house and see if you all can agree on something it is much easier when the rule is universal.
This to me is an area that many have lost in recent times because kids dont really only have friends in their own neighborhood where all the parents know each other and talk . It is up to us as parents to reach out and make sure we know the families our kids are with. I usually try to have at least one party a year where i invite the parents of my kids friends over so even the kids see that we talk.
Thankfully, my 11 year old hasn't shown an interest. Does wearing toenail polish count? I want to wait until maybe 12. She'll be in middle school in the fall, so I may change my mind. But only lip gloss and maybe a little blush. Great discussion.
well I think wearing makeup depends on the maturity of the child! not the age! now stay with me on this.... lol i only have a 4 yr old daughter and she recently found and interest in makeup! yes at 4. so instead of buying that walmart makeup stat stains ur face and everything else it comes in contact with, i put together a lil makeup bag for her. with all the different lip glosses(clear) and some small light pink eyeshadows, got her, her own makeup brush and bag and she was totally fine with it! she absolutely loves it! I did the same for her 5 yr old stepsister! my daughter is a natural beauty but she likes to play around with makeup! Her dad is worried she'll want to wear it all the time when she starts school or when we go out or things like that! should i be worried this will happen... and if so what do i do? or should i do something now to prevent this? Im asking because i see all of you have daughters way past this age! school makeup is a huge no no and i think they should only be able to wear it to school if they have means of paying for it! like so with a cell phone! am i crazy!?!? lol
Theresa
My girl is 13 and the most she is allowed is chapstick/lipgloss. She's had light makeup (eyeshadow,blush) for weddings and pictures. I don't see anything beyond that for a couple years.
I think it is fun for toddlers to experiment with make-up. We played a lot when my daughter was little. As for older kids, make-up is a part of the lifestyle. For example, my daughter always wears some for performances, because it is hard to see facial features from far away, and the bright harsh light makes you look ghastly without makeup. She wears some make-up for roleplay, occasionally, to help get immersed in a particular style (e.g. steampunk). For some of her business meetings, say, when she interviews local professionals for her web site, she wears formal clothes and a tiny bit of natural lipstick and eyeshadow. It's all about social symbols and uses. I think our role as parents is to help kids socialize into our adult world, which includes looking appropriately for social activities. Wearing roleplay makeup to a comics convention is appropriate, but for a mountain hike, it's not.
Hello. Great discussion here. I have 3 boys, but I work for KidsHealth.org, a children's health website. We get a lot of questions from tween girls about makeup, bras, shaving legs etc. Here's a link to our Q&A on makeup.
We have lots of good info for kids and parents re: these "When can I..." questions.
http://kidshealth.org/kid/talk/when/when_makeup.html
Hi Nanette :-)
First, I would look at why you are afraid. Usually what ever we are worried about or focusing on will show up in our lives. Take the power away and the "problem" and it will disapear with it :-)

My daughter has a BFF who is almost 2 years older than her. One day I went to pick her up from her house and .....yep she was wearing makeup, I think it was just eye shadow, but it was that kind of dark evening type and it did REALLY surprise me! She was 11 and I didn't make a big deal out of it. She wanted to buy make up and I took her, she played around with it for like maybe a month...she is 13+ now and choses NOT to wear any make up! Dresses beutifully...her favorite store is Anne Taylor Loft Yet, when she was 11 she was all about wearing the funkiest things she could find, mix matched and crazy.

Again, I have found any time I have a BIG charge inside of me about something, it's ususally about me, my hangups or worries...so check that out. You want to keep your daughter close to you, not push her away...right. I always try to remember this "whats more important to me, my relationship with my daughter or being right about _______ (makeup)?! Take care and have fun! ~Tracy

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