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Permalink Reply by Mia Redrick on May 23, 2011 at 6:59pm

I think the best tip for raising a teenager is being a good listener.  So much quickly happens in the lives of teenagers and they really do need a soft place to come, fall, laugh and cry.  It is difficult to listen without judgement and with strong opinions at times to what is being said, but in the long run if your child knows that they can count on you to hear them you have maintained and engaged the lines of communication.  My goal is to keep my children wanting to talk and share with me.  I love it when my son ask me my opinion or just wants another perspective other than his friends.

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Permalink Reply by Mine on May 23, 2011 at 7:13pm

We promote being open and true at all times, but this only works in an ideal world. Most of the times there is the influence of friends and under peer pressure teenagers can give in. So far my 15 year old hangs out with his friends after school and over the weekends. He did not ask to go out at night yet, because he's doing sports and almost everyday and early morning hours on weekends he has practice, he still values his sleep over late nights. I also talk to him a lot about making wise choices and dealing with the consequences. Sometimes, we need to let them make mistakes and learn from them, as well.

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Permalink Reply by Carol Lawrence on May 24, 2011 at 7:55am

Good listening is a key component of keeping the lines of communication open. We don't always hear what we want to hear and it can be difficult to to listen without judgement but you are so right Mia. If we can keep our opinions to a dull roar and just be present, fully attentive and provide a space for children to grow as they experience the teen age years they will come to trust the adults in their lives and be more willing to talk with you when needed. It's also helpful to continue to encourage them to create healthy boundaries.

Mia Redrick said:

I think the best tip for raising a teenager is being a good listener.  So much quickly happens in the lives of teenagers and they really do need a soft place to come, fall, laugh and cry.  It is difficult to listen without judgement and with strong opinions at times to what is being said, but in the long run if your child knows that they can count on you to hear them you have maintained and engaged the lines of communication.  My goal is to keep my children wanting to talk and share with me.  I love it when my son ask me my opinion or just wants another perspective other than his friends.

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Permalink Reply by Gloria on May 25, 2011 at 4:05pm

Teens go through all kinds of wild ideas about what they believe...and what they believe changes with angle of the sun throughout the day. So be open minded, don't freak out if they think something about themselves that doesn't align with your family values...it's likely a fleeting belief. Their brains aren't developed until they are 25 so make sure that they don't hold fast to their ever changing beliefs just to piss you off.

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Permalink Reply by Raquel Masco on May 25, 2011 at 6:42pm

Be open. Let your child(ren) know you love and accept them no matter what...and you negative behavior is not acceptable and all wrong choices have consequences. I've learned to not always give my opinion or turn things into a lecture; I just listen..even though it's hard and certainly haven't perfected that by any means. Sometimes I make my boy step out side the box and himself..so he knows there's nothing he can't accomplish. Just give lots and lots of unconditional love

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Permalink Reply by Gloria Pan on May 25, 2011 at 6:59pm

My best advice is to avoid saying, "no," and to focus instead on the reasons why you'd say "no." For example, if your high school daughter wants to go hang out ALONE in the dorm room of some college boy she just met, it's a totally ridiculous proposition, right? Instead of flipping out and denying permission straight out, talk about how you don't know this boy, how she needs to bring him around a few so you can get to know him and trust him, and why you need all that to feel comfortable to agree to that.

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Permalink Reply by Lynda Tatrai on May 27, 2011 at 11:14am

Be ready to drive everywhere and stock your frig. with tons of food! ;)
http://grapegoddess.blogspot.com
http://youravon.com/ltatrai

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Permalink Reply by Christy Loflin on May 29, 2011 at 6:28pm

We have 4 teenagers in our house and as you can imagine it's a little crazy!! Ad the whole blended family thing in and life gets pretty interesting. We just try to keep involved in all activities (that we know about) :) and always be welcome to inviting friends over to our house. I think that when you allow your house to be the "hang out" spot it helps you stay a little move involved in your kids life. Having an open mind is a big plus. ( not always my strong point) If your teens feel like the can talk to you about their lives I think that it will help them make much better decisions.

www.IHaveaTeenager.com

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