My 12 year old daughter wants to get dropped off at the mall with her friends to shop and hang around. I say no way. My husband says no way....but most of her friends parents let their daughters do this! Am I an over-protective mom?
This is a big step, but I am sorry that i do not have the answer. I just posted a question about whehter there is a correct age to let your child stay home alone. I am also interested in the answer to your questions from other moms who have already dealt with this.
I don't think you are over-protective but maybe start by taking her and a friend to the mall and let them walk around by themselves while you are still there in the same building. Give her some money to spend and see how it works out. Do that a few times and hopefully you will become more comfortable and so will she. I do think that 12 is a good age to start giving a little independence but with some boundaries. Give her a small budget and discuss smart spending and give her a time limit - maybe start with 1 hr and extend to 2 hrs - of course i am a shopaholic so i can spend HOURS in a mall!) then talk about the experiences afterwards (when you are home alone with out her friend(s).
This is very hard. I also have a 12 year old and she and her friends love the mall. I did allow her to hang out at the mall with 7 of her friends for two hours. I have to be honest and say I was a nervous wreck and I called her cell phone every 30 minutes. I'm no comfortable with it, so she hasn't done it since. Now, if she wants to hang at the mall with her friends I'll let her go if her 15 year old sister is also going to the mall with her friends. Otherwise, I take them and I hang out in the mall until they're done. I know I'm being a bit overprotective because at the age of 12 (I grew up in California), my friends and I were catching the RTD to Venice Beach. It just feels like times are so different, but maybe they aren't.
The scary thing is, we have to allow them to grow and give them that space. Luckily, my kids don't mind me being in the same mall as them, so it works in my favor. Maybe you can try that.
My stepdaughter is 12 & I wouldn't let her hang out at any of our malls without me at least being there. I have let her stay in one store while I'm in the one near it when she's with friends, but I certainly wouldn't drop her off & leave at this point.
Heck I am JUST getting used to letting my 11 (12 this fall) year old son walk HALF way home from school.. We live about 2 miles from school. That is really not the issue though. He has Asperger's and is a target so to speak. He is learning to ignore those whom make comments to him as he walks home. But he also has to pass many Jr. High kids and THEY are the ones I do not trust. I know he knows about strangers and what not BUT, I fear that one will say just the right thing and that will be it.. KWIM? It is so hard that they are getting older.. I remember when... OMG.. did I just say that? LOL But really, I remember when I was his age I was OUTSIDE all day running around the neighborhood with my friends. Walked to and from school daily. But right now I would never dream of letting him do that.. Now who's overprotective hey?