Twitter Moms and Dads how do you feel about your teens texting and sending inappropriate texting (sexting is the new term). Kids are sending inappropriate pictures of themselves nude and accepting nude pictures from others. What is going on in the teen world. Is this acceptable? Do you check your teens cell? When is the last time you checked your teens cell?

Views: 76

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

This sexting craze is not new. When my girls first came home talking about it my now 15 year old was 11, so this is not new in my world. All I can say is; this is a whole new generation and class, self-respect and character seem be a declining factor.

Are you asking if sexting is acceptable amongst teens? If so, the answer is yes because it's "their thing". I should clarify this sexting issue is not just a high school issue. Middle school kids are just as terrible.

I don't check my kids phones that often. But I shut their phones down from 9am to 4pm and from 11pm to 6am. My girls are well aware having a cell phone is a luxury NOT a necessity and I have no problem taking them away if they can't show good judgment in cell phone usage.
We only have mobile phones; no landline or Vonage home phone anymore. However, the Disney phones aren't the only ones you can control. I have T-Mobile and they have a family allowances service that allows the parent to pretty much control the usage of the entire phone. For an extra $2/month, it's totally worth it. Although I admit, my biggest problem was my kids downloading ringtones (only happened one time), so I can't complain too much. Nevertheless, I blocked them both from downloading anything to their phones. For the most part; they're pretty responsible, but they've also had mobile phones for a long time, so they know what and whatnot to do for the most part.

Milinda Catalano said:
Hello,
Honestly, my children a several years away form being teens.. My oldest is seven. Though I know of many children my daughters age and under 12 that have cell phones.. I feel that is not a good thing.. Unless your child, teenagere is alone a great deal or has a part time job, etc.. there is no reason for a child to have a cell phone.. I think most of us lived thru our teenage years without a cell phone.. If or when my daughter has a cell phone it will be when she can afford one on her own. She knows when she is 15 she will get a part time job.. then she can get one. I think the best cells for kids are the ones offered by Dinsey.. You control who they can call and receive calls from.. Look at all these kids getting lured from their homes form predators with the use of their cells and pcs.. It's sick.. I can go on and on, but i won't.. Just adding my 2 cents.. Great question
I am a clinical psychologist. I have three sons ages 14, 11, 8. The older two have cell phones.

This is an excellent topic and worth greater depth. I plan to address it on my online TV or video show.

However until then a few thoughts from a psychologist who has spent over 20 years working with victims of trauma - including sexual trauma.

The first issue is the introduction of sexuality at an early age that is itself traumatizing, overwhelming and preoccupying. When this is introduced too early it is traumatizing. This is great for marketers and horrible for kids.

Secondly the scale of magnifications and the 'viral' aspect of texting take what can be teenage indiscretions and make them not just fodder for that teen’s school. It can move to other schools, the community, and the region and even, sadly, YouTube infamy and national attention. If you don't think so go to this link and read the article with this title at:

"Her teen committed suicide over ‘sexting’
Cynthia Logan’s daughter was taunted about photo she sent to boyfriend"

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29546030/

Yes, employers even find out about these kinds of issues. Yes, employers check facebook profiles, other employee’s report employees for whom they find evidence of such things. This sort of thing has the potential to affect a person's entire career.

So, this is not your 80s middle school party with people making out. This is a different scale and has substantially different ramifications.

Again, I will address this issue on my show at www.fitfamilies.tv next month. I have a companion site at www.ourfitfamily.ning.com. You are invited to go there join the sites and give me feedback as both sites are in a beta phase. I invite you there and I will open a discussion on this topic.

Sincerely,

Charles Shinaver, Ph.D.
www.charlesshinaver.com
I don't allow my 17 year old son to have a cell phone that allows pictures. I also talked to him about the recent case where several teens were arrested for this practice and I used this example to show him the consequences of these actions. The idea that your child could be labeled a sexual predator for the rest of his life because of "sexting" scares the hell out of me and it scared the hell out of my son.
I've read several news pieces and Op-Ed columns on this issue and I find that I'm pretty conflicted about it. My daughter is almost 5. It's way too early for me to be getting my knickers in a twist over what kind of appropriate boundaries I expect her to honor. Sprout got her first digital camera last week and we took it with us on a play/swim date. I spent quite a bit of time trying to explain to her why I felt that it was inappropriate to take pictures of her friend in the changing room. But we're walking a delicate line right now anyway because she still doesn't fully get the whole "It's better to wear clothing when you're around people..." thing. I want her to understand that nudity is not appropriate in most social settings without getting the idea that nudity is wrong or shameful. She's comfortable in her own skin and I want her to remain that way. I'm just not sure that I want the world to see all of her skin...

Right now, when I think about her eventual use of a cell phone (we're also a wireless-only family with no land phone) I lean toward the idea that our phones are family tools... It is not a private thing like a diary... Her phone will be hers to use at our discretion and her usage will be reviewed regularly. To make that review easier, I would like to see wireless companies offer a catch-all account to families where SMS texts, pictures and video would be "archived"...

How much different would our children's phone behavior be if they knew that their parents had access to every image? I would hope that it would serve as a reminder that once something leaves your device, anyone could end up seeing it.
Have your kids read Young Revolutionaries Who Rock, An Insider's Guide to Saving the World on Revolution at a Time.(Sutton Hart Press 2009) This was written by a teen, for teens and is the most inspiring book I have seen in a long time.
Kids need another outlet, I'd rather mine was saving the world.
I will make sure to visit the sites that you listed. I do think that this is an important topic-because this is happening.

Charles Shinaver said:
I am a clinical psychologist. I have three sons ages 14, 11, 8. The older two have cell phones.

This is an excellent topic and worth greater depth. I plan to address it on my online TV or video show.

However until then a few thoughts from a psychologist who has spent over 20 years working with victims of trauma - including sexual trauma.

The first issue is the introduction of sexuality at an early age that is itself traumatizing, overwhelming and preoccupying. When this is introduced too early it is traumatizing. This is great for marketers and horrible for kids.

Secondly the scale of magnifications and the 'viral' aspect of texting take what can be teenage indiscretions and make them not just fodder for that teen’s school. It can move to other schools, the community, and the region and even, sadly, YouTube infamy and national attention. If you don't think so go to this link and read the article with this title at:

"Her teen committed suicide over ‘sexting’
Cynthia Logan’s daughter was taunted about photo she sent to boyfriend"

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29546030/

Yes, employers even find out about these kinds of issues. Yes, employers check facebook profiles, other employee’s report employees for whom they find evidence of such things. This sort of thing has the potential to affect a person's entire career.

So, this is not your 80s middle school party with people making out. This is a different scale and has substantially different ramifications.

Again, I will address this issue on my show at www.fitfamilies.tv next month. I have a companion site at www.ourfitfamily.ning.com. You are invited to go there join the sites and give me feedback as both sites are in a beta phase. I invite you there and I will open a discussion on this topic.

Sincerely,

Charles Shinaver, Ph.D.
www.charlesshinaver.com
It is a very scary phenomenon. I believe that all teens need to be educated about the ramifications of texting, sexting, online information and so forth. It is a responsibility of the parent(s) to make sure that the child is educated on what kids are doing and the ramifications of what they are doing.

I have an 11 yr old and a 7 yr old. Neither has their own cell phone yet. My 11 yr old has a laptop. We established the rules for using the laptop before she logged on for the first time and we regularly check her history and so forth. She is begging for a cell phone and my DH and I have told her no. I have, however, talked with her about cell phones and appropriate uses and inappropriate uses and why.

I have gathered videos, articles and helpful websites on the topic of Sexting at my blog, www.lipstickwisdom.com. The Sexting information is located at : http://www.lipstickwisdom.com/category/teenagers-and-sexting/.

I hope you find this helpful!!

Best,
Karen

www.lipstickwisdom.com
www.twitter.com/lipstickwisdom
I do not have a teen and did not know about this problem until recently. This is another reason teens should not have cell phones. Most are irresponsible and unaware that such activities can be devastating for them.

Personally, if I ever found my child was doing this (and yes I will monitor all texts and calls in an out, if I allow them to have a cell) they would lose all privileges to have a cell phone and probably more communication methods.

Have a GREAT day!

Shawnasie
I agree with Naomi. What we can do about this is to educate our children on what is right and wrong. Let us mold their values. If they are well guided, this issue or any other issue won't be a problem. They themselves will know how to handle it. I'm glad that my daughter is still a toddler so my only concern for now is keeping her baby bows on her hair. She is just so playful =)
This definitely is a new and sometimes scary generation that we are all living in. While I do not approve of this form of communication if you will, I do not harp at my children either. Both my husband and I have made it clear that having a phone is a luxury and not a right with the understanding that we will be able to look at their phones anytime without warning. We feel that if you are not doing anything wrong or anything that you could be ashamed of then there should be no problem and the same with our phones. My daughter can see by example that if you don't do anything stupid you have nothing to feel guilty about. I always tell my children, "Would that be okay for your little 6 year old sister to see?". and they seem to get it.
I don't like the idea that they are doing it but I talk with my daughter about how wrong it is and what the consequences are and what can happen if they do it, not just what I'll do to them but what the authorities can do. My daughter knows some girls who have done this and they are looked upon as dirty. So I don't think it's a problem with my daughters friends. Don't think I won't tell her friends parents if their kid sends my daughter something nasty, I will do it..... It isn't right. But I think it has to do with all the nakedness on the tv. I mean you can't even watch cooking without seeing boobies ie: Giada De Laurentiis. I was shocked to see Rachel Ray with hers sticking out this past week and it made me sick... Cover up girls.... That's one of the things my daughter is complaining about is shirts to tight and to low.....

Reply to Discussion

RSS

 

 

 

© 2014   Created by Megan Calhoun.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service