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Permalink Reply by Beth on March 23, 2012 at 7:25pm

I wouldn't get involved, except to maybe give her info. on counseling. Then she can take it or leave it. But otherwise, I wouldn't get involved because if you give her advice and she take's it and something happens, then that will affect her and your relationship. And if you give her advice and she makes her own decision anyways, the same conclusion could happen.

EX. If you tell her not to marry this guy, but keep him in the babies life, and she is madly in love with him and stays with him anyways, she may get mad at you for advising her not to marry a guy that "she is in love with"

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Permalink Reply by Reesa Mckenzie on May 4, 2012 at 12:31am

I see the sense in your answer. I am going to give her the info I have and let her take it from there. My  grandmother always said "if you make your bed you got to lay in it".

Thanks a bunch

 

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Permalink Reply by Megan on May 12, 2012 at 8:02am

Id say not cuz in my opinion its just going to cause more problems for you in the long run

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Permalink Reply by Kelli L Avery on May 17, 2012 at 7:43am

I say because she is so young, you should get involved. But very minimally. In other words, be straight up and honest with her. Say how you feel. That you would like to help her, and give her advice, but you already know it is going to be a waste of your breath. Tell her NOT what she should or shouldn't do, but what YOU would or wouldn't do. Then tell her, the bottom line is, it is her life, not yours and although you love her very much, you can not change her life for her, or make her decisions. But you can LISTEN.

Now the reason I say all that is, because think about when you were younger and someone gave you advice. You may not have listened to that advice, but it did move around in your head, even if you didn't want it to. If know one wants to get involved, and no one wants to tell her, then how is she ever to learn. The problem with getting invoved is, not getting mad when they don't follow your advice. You already know they wont. But maybe just maybe, if she hears it enough, and you don't turn your back, and your 100 percent honest without putting him down or her. I know that's hard. But just because you can't stand him, he is gonna be in her life the rest of her life, now that they share a child. You can say you have no respect and she deserves so much better, but it that you will stand by her and her child no matter what!! You don't have to like her decisions, but you will always love her. Does that make sense??

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Permalink Reply by Shannon Flora on May 20, 2012 at 2:08pm

My advice, is to let your cousin know she is worth more then what he is giving her. How is he her fiance while living with someone else? (I read the blog post.lol) If I was you I'd tell her to run fast, don't expect nothing from him with her baby. Tell her 3x and move on.... there's nothing worse then trying to lead a horse to water and they don't drink it.

I don't know about you but I'm sure it hurts to listen to women complain about how their supose to be man hurts them (especially when it's our loved one's). They will go on and on but yet dont take the advice we give them. You can only tell her so many times and if she takes head to what you advice her thats good, If not then dont keep putting yourself in the middle of it bc you will look like the bad one in the end. Im just giving advice from experience. Don't stress yourself out if she keeps allowing it. A man will only do what a woman allows him to do!

Good luck to you and her!

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Permalink Reply by Reesa Mckenzie on May 22, 2012 at 7:44pm

Thank you all for the great advice but, unfortunately she had a still birth of a little boy that was 7 months. The ambilical cord was wrapped around his neck and he soffucated. So very sad.

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