Is it okay to read your child's text messages?
It is hard to know what to do sometimes, is it ever okay to read my child's text messages? Tell us what you think?Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kristin Rumian on
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My kids aren't old enough to have cell phones yet, but I'm sure I would want to monitor them when they do get cell phones. These days, you never know what may happen via text message. When I first got a cell phone, it wasn't that bad. Now a days, you hear all this terrible stuff. I'd be paranoid. I think as long as you talk to your kids about monitoring their text messages and being open and honest, I don't think it's intrusive. It's being a responsible parent. IMO!
Krissy
http://three-seventeen.blogspot.com
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Permalink Reply by The Redhead Riter on -
I would ask you "Why not?"
Good reason why you should...
1. You bought the phone
2. You are the mother
3. They are the children
4. Your job is to protect them
5. You love them
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Permalink Reply by jan held on -
I love that list and so agree with you?
The Redhead Riter said:I would ask you "Why not?"
Good reason why you should...
1. You bought the phone
2. You are the mother
3. They are the children
4. Your job is to protect them
5. You love them
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Permalink Reply by This Mama Works It! on -
OMg I totoaly agree with this list. Wen my kids are old enough I will be checking there phones.
The Redhead Riter said:I would ask you "Why not?"
Good reason why you should...
1. You bought the phone
2. You are the mother
3. They are the children
4. Your job is to protect them
5. You love them
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Permalink Reply by Nan Bennett on -
My baby still to young to have mobile, I have planing to give her mobile when she be junior high school that time I will be very careful about her so mean I will read her text messages. maybe someone not agree because it her private but for Thai culture parents can do.
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Permalink Reply by Stephanie on -
I do weekly. they have caught on and try to delete everyday but I also have an honest relationship with them and they tell me most things anyway. I also offer to drive most places so I can hear what they are talking about with their friends.
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Permalink Reply by Lynda Tatrai on -
I think it's okay,but good luck getting the phone away from them! Now you will have to sneak it when they are sleeping and don't get caught or they will hate you forever!Kidding aside,I don't check but I have taught my children guidelines. If I thought one of my children was having a hard time I would start browsing around.
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Permalink Reply by Tracy Snyder on -
Honestly, I think it is ok, BUT... I do tell my daughter I am going to read them on occasions. Normally I go to her as a day is coming to an end and say I would loke to read your messages and see what you are up to!
I have found some things I am not happy with while doing that, but it gives us a chance to discuss things more. I do not get angry with her for texted things, but we talk about appropriateness and saftey... etc... I think getting mad and angry or being secretive only causes problems with trust and communication between you and your child.
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Permalink Reply by Holly Bowne on -
Absolutely! We're responsible for our kids until they are grown and on their own. As another reader wrote, it's our job to love and protect them. I've told my kids that their father and I will randomly look at their text messages, and they understand the reasoning behind it and accept it. They may not love the idea, but they accept it. ;o)
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Permalink Reply by Christine Duvivier on -
I have a different take on this. An occasional look (over your child's shoulder) is normal and s/he sees that you take a look once in a while. Better yet, just ask her, "who's that?" "What's up?" Usually s/he will tell you.
If you have reason to suspect your child is in trouble of any kind or with kids you are concerned about, talk with him or her your concern. If you believe your child is a "good kid," as I felt my kids were, I don't think you want to do a lot of snooping. My younger daughter didn't have a cell phone until high school (she's now 21 and kids weren't getting them in MS or elementary). To this day, I'll simply ask her or look over with her at a message (which of course sometimes she hides but I don't sweat it).
I think it's great to show your natural curiosity about his/her life (including texts) but err on the side of showing your child that you trust his/her good judgment. You'll find they talk to you about big issues.
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Permalink Reply by Rose RedNeckWitch on -
My kids don't have a cell phone. Well they did, but lost interest. This is where I'm thankful for TracFone's. However that's all my husband and I use as well. TracFone. If we had a contract phone, I might consider them having a cell phone, but again mine aren't very interested. We live in a dead zone, and are surrounded mainly with dead zones, and I don't mind for this very reason.
If we were able to get cell access at home and closer to home, I'd probably let my kids have one. However it wouldn't come free. They would have to do some kind of chore to help pay for their cell phone, and yes, I absolutely would monitor their phones, numbers coming in and out, as well as text messages. This would be a basic ground rule.
My kids are allowed to use the internet. In exchange I must have all usernames and passwords or I remove their access at home, and school. It's not an empty threat, and they know this. I figure if they don't want me to have the passwords then there is something they're hiding that could be potentially dangerous and it's not a chance I'm willing to take with my kids.
I worked for an online virtual world, and you may be rather shocked at just how many kids go to these type of chats at school, and in every waking moment at home. Unmonitored for hours, even days at a time. If ever!
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