How do you teach the concept of values to children?
Children want to be 'cool' all the time and compete with their friends over who has the latest gadget or something similar. How do you teach them a sense of values and morals given this scenario?
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Traci Bell on -
I think the absolute best way to do this is to focus on improving as a person in order to be a great example. Looking back, I plan to do things a lot differently than how I was raised and I have realized now as a mother that the things I want my daughter to learn, I must display through my behavior, such as "giving back," being kind in public, don't lie, etc. I plan to incorporate charity into Christmas time and not make it about spoiling my child with gifts. She will have good holidays, but I want to show her how much happiness there is to be found in doing for others.
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Permalink Reply by Jane Chelliah on -
Hi Traci,
Setting an example through action is a brilliant way to teach values. I dislike the way consumerism is displayed at Xmas time and agree with you that it should not be about spoiling a child.
Jane
Traci Bell said:I think the absolute best way to do this is to focus on improving as a person in order to be a great example. Looking back, I plan to do things a lot differently than how I was raised and I have realized now as a mother that the things I want my daughter to learn, I must display through my behavior, such as "giving back," being kind in public, don't lie, etc. I plan to incorporate charity into Christmas time and not make it about spoiling my child with gifts. She will have good holidays, but I want to show her how much happiness there is to be found in doing for others.
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Permalink Reply by GlamourCoach on -
By examples.
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Permalink Reply by Bluedaisy on -
Practice, practice, practice. Yes, kids learn by example, but if you're teaching children to be respectful to property, they're not going to get it just because you do it. For example, I have never allowed my children to jump and climb on our couch. Even before we had a nice couch, and our couch was ugly and even torn up, they were not allowed to jump on the couch. I did not want them to jump on other people's couches and I did not want them to jump on a new couch when we got one. So when the kids are doing something that is not appropriate, it's important to use it as a teaching moment. They don't need to be "in trouble" but helping them understand is the best part of training your kids.
When kids start to argue or fight over a toy or are mad at each other, we practice what could have happened. We practice the appropriate behavior. If the emotions are too intense then we will wait to practice later. Look for teaching moments. This is not something you do once and the kids get it and do it. This is years of training until they leave your home.
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Permalink Reply by Elle N. Em on -
My husband and I teach our children about our values by the way we live. My heart went out to the Botox Mom's daughter who now probably thinks it is OK to lie for money. I can't judge, but I hope things get better for them both.
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Permalink Reply by GlamourCoach on
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You, absolutely right, parents should never be afraid to say NO to their kids.
I see badly behaving kids everyday in stores, in restaurants and parents are just helpless, letting them do what they want to do: scream, run, hysterically demand something, or even worse they follow with their kids demands. This kind of behavior should never be tolerated and form the early age kids should be introduced to the principals of right behavior by example and reinforcement.
Bluedaisy said:Practice, practice, practice. Yes, kids learn by example, but if you're teaching children to be respectful to property, they're not going to get it just because you do it. For example, I have never allowed my children to jump and climb on our couch. Even before we had a nice couch, and our couch was ugly and even torn up, they were not allowed to jump on the couch. I did not want them to jump on other people's couches and I did not want them to jump on a new couch when we got one. So when the kids are doing something that is not appropriate, it's important to use it as a teaching moment. They don't need to be "in trouble" but helping them understand is the best part of training your kids.
When kids start to argue or fight over a toy or are mad at each other, we practice what could have happened. We practice the appropriate behavior. If the emotions are too intense then we will wait to practice later. Look for teaching moments. This is not something you do once and the kids get it and do it. This is years of training until they leave your home.
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Permalink Reply by Jane Chelliah on
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Bluedaisy said:Practice, practice, practice. Yes, kids learn by example, but if you're teaching children to be respectful to property, they're not going to get it just because you do it. For example, I have never allowed my children to jump and climb on our couch. Even before we had a nice couch, and our couch was ugly and even torn up, they were not allowed to jump on the couch. I did not want them to jump on other people's couches and I did not want them to jump on a new couch when we got one. So when the kids are doing something that is not appropriate, it's important to use it as a teaching moment. They don't need to be "in trouble" but helping them understand is the best part of training your kids.
When kids start to argue or fight over a toy or are mad at each other, we practice what could have happened. We practice the appropriate behavior. If the emotions are too intense then we will wait to practice later. Look for teaching moments. This is not something you do once and the kids get it and do it. This is years of training until they leave your home.
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Permalink Reply by Maria Casey on
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This is such an important topic - one that I think needs to be introduced early to children. Here is a quick and easy way to start the values conversation! Let me know what you think!
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Permalink Reply by Candi Wingate on
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How do you teach your children to respect themselves and others? The primary method is by modeling respectful behavior. If you are respectful in your interactions with others (including your children), then your children will learn how to treat others with respect. They will learn how it feels to be respected, and they will develop the self-confidence to be comfortable giving and receiving respectful treatment.
Other steps you can take to teach your child respect include:
- Choosing to surround yourself and your children with people who consistently exhibit respectful behavior; including your nanny and your nanny's friends
- Explaining to your children what behaviors are considered respectful or disrespectful, based on the circumstances of varying situations
- Finding age-appropriate teaching opportunities for your children (i.e., encouraging your toddler to say “please” and “thank you” or helping your elementary-aged child gracefully accept the consequences of his/her actions in the classroom)
Defining respect is essential. There are some universal truths in the definition of respect, but there are many variables as well. Elements of respect include: honesty, responsibility, reliability, empathy, politeness, trustworthiness, and fairness. Self-respect, which is the foundation on which respect for others is built, includes all the foregoing, but may also include abstention (from sex before marriage, alcohol, or drugs), getting a good education, and choosing friends who value respectful behavior.
When is it best to start teaching your children respect? It is best to start teaching your children respect from the moment of their birth. They will not, from the moment of birth, have the capacity to understand the concept of respect, but exposure to respectful behaviors will gradually come to their awareness and be second nature to them. To expose them to your expectations on respectful behavior after a period of time in which disrespect was allowed will seem arbitrary and false to your children. In sum, from ...http://tinyurl.com/yyrbo5a
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Permalink Reply by Jane Chelliah on
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Hi GlamourCoach,
Leading by example is a strong way to teach the positives in life.
Jane
GlamourCoach said:By examples.
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Permalink Reply by Jane Chelliah on
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Dear Bluedaisy,
I agree that not everything can be taught through setting an example. As you rightly imply some children's behaviour isn't replicated by adults.
This is where boundary setting comes in. A firm 'no' works.Jane
Jane Chelliah said:
Bluedaisy said:Practice, practice, practice. Yes, kids learn by example, but if you're teaching children to be respectful to property, they're not going to get it just because you do it. For example, I have never allowed my children to jump and climb on our couch. Even before we had a nice couch, and our couch was ugly and even torn up, they were not allowed to jump on the couch. I did not want them to jump on other people's couches and I did not want them to jump on a new couch when we got one. So when the kids are doing something that is not appropriate, it's important to use it as a teaching moment. They don't need to be "in trouble" but helping them understand is the best part of training your kids.
When kids start to argue or fight over a toy or are mad at each other, we practice what could have happened. We practice the appropriate behavior. If the emotions are too intense then we will wait to practice later. Look for teaching moments. This is not something you do once and the kids get it and do it. This is years of training until they leave your home.
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Permalink Reply by Jane Chelliah on
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Dear Maria,Thanks for leaving a link.
Jane
Maria Casey said:This is such an important topic - one that I think needs to be introduced early to children. Here is a quick and easy way to start the values conversation! Let me know what you think!
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