How do you discipline your child in public without making a scene?

Today's SocialMoms blogging prompt was submitted by member Crystal Williams, who writes about parenting and relationships at Fun and Fabulous Life. You can connect with her on Twitter @funandfablife .
 

 

How do you discipline your child in public without making a scene?  - What do you do when your child acts up in public? When your child knows they will not get punished in public, how do you prevent them from making a scene? How do you deal with temper tantrums? 


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Happy blogging!

Tags: blogging prompt, discipline, temper tantrums, writing prompt

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We just dealt with this at the airport with my 6 year old.  I find a very public corner or wall and then I whisper to her, "See that corner/wall?  If you don't start behaving, you be putting your nose in it."  She looked around and saw all of the people and didn't want to be embarrassed so she stopped her poor behavior.  It works everywhere we go. - Heather www.thingsthatkeepmesane.com

 

Link to to SocialMoms daily prompt

I have always wondered how other mom's discipline in public. Since my two year old is just starting to hit his terrible two's I am terribly afraid of the public discipline as I haven't experienced it yet..... Right now I just leave him home with his dad but I know the day will come when I will have to discipline him in public.
I used to feel self-conscious about spanking or raising my voice at my son in public. But then, I would be more patient and people would make snide comments about how I "let" him hit me or scream or kick. So, people are willing to judge you regardless of what you do. I have found it's best to do what you feel is best.
I threaten to take my kids into the public bathroom for a "chat." The "chat" is not pleasant. It works every time. www.smartmothersguide.com
What constitutes appropriate discipline? When should you administer discipline? While there is no one right answer to fit every family and every circumstance, there are some general guidelines that are recommended.

First, let’s cover why a parent disciplines his/her child. The immediate purposes of discipline are usually twofold: to help a child learn what behaviors are ok and what behaviors are not ok, and also to punish a child for exhibiting behaviors that are not ok (”misbehaving”). The ultimate purpose of discipline is to ensure that the child does not repeat the misbehavior. This may be to ensure the child’s safety, to bring the child in line with societal expectations, or for any number of other reasons.

With that in mind, what constitutes appropriate discipline depends on the age and mindset of the child, the culture in which the child is being raised, and the gravity of the behavioral violation at issue. For example, if a two-year-old child has loudly voiced her displeasure in the middle of a nice restaurant, her parent may remove her to a more private setting (for example, her parent’s car) where she can receive a two minute time-out, be told how to express more appropriately what she is feeling, use that information (hopefully) to express her feelings according to the proscribed boundaries, and experience the love and patience of her parent without simultaneously receiving validation from her parent about her misbehavior. If, however, the child is eight years old and the errant behavior is playing in the middle of a busy street despite repeated parental instruction to the contrary, her parent may remove her from the street and take her to a more private setting (for example, her room) where she can receive an eight minute time-out, be reminded of the dangers of playing in the middle of a busy street, be provided options for alternate locations for play, be grounded for one full week, and experience the love and patience of her parent without simultaneously receiving validation from her parent about her misbehavior. During the week of grounding, the parent may take the child to a local emergency room’s lobby where the child can observe people coming in with major injuries so that the child will see how serious and painful accidents can be. Note that the length of the time-out is proportionate to the child’s age. (Typically, the length of the time-out is one minute for each year of the child’s life. So, a four-year-old will experience a four minute time-out and a nine-year-old will experience a nine minute time out.) Punishments should be age-appropriate. Punishments should also be appropriate for the mindset of the child. One child may be very emotive while another is very logical. A parent needs to select punishments that work for the unique nature of the child. Punishments should be culturally appropriate. For example, in our culture, physical punishment is typically considered inappropriate at this time. Finally, punishment should be proportionate to the misbehavior: stronger punishment should be reserved for recurrent or serious misbehaviors.

Once the method of discipline is chosen, timing should be determined. Ideally... http://tinyurl.com/yboy89y

I have a good one I have used for years with both of my kids!!

 

Check it out:

http://openchanneltime.wordpress.com/

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