Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Mary Kay on October 24, 2008 at 7:54pm

MichellePotter said:

Linda said:

I get a lot of "god bless you" or are u nuts? My favorite by far is "are you catholic?" ,, i didn't know catholics were heavy breeders, LOL, BUt my 3 older children biologically aren't mine,., so the most hatefull thing i have bee told are "well they really arent yours". As if not physically giving birth to a child removes being a mother to them .

When I had my fourth child, my mom made a joke in front of me to all of her friends, saying I wanted to be like this family I knew growing up. They had six kids. "They were Catholic," she said. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. The funny part? My mom is Catholic.

Permalink Reply by Mary Kay on October 24, 2008 at 7:57pm

I've been asked, too, are you Catholic. I actually am, but then I say, "yes, on top of that I'm Irish Catholic", and you know what that means!

I've also like many of you been told, "bless you...good for you." And I reply, "yes, i certainly AM blessed aren't I! Five times the fortune and happiness of anyone else."

Ruth said:

I think this person has talked to me too! lol.

Funny part is my children have traveled more than I did as a child. And some of them traveled quit a bit. My husband and I got married at 21 and people thought we were to young. lol didn't know that there was a special age for a perfect marriage. And we have had so much fun as they grew up. I had to go back to work 7 years ago and for the last 3 my youngest son has been in a public high school. In reality it is less fun, more work, and costs us a lot more money than home schooling! We took trips, built a swiming pool, re route my dads flood iragation system, built a hydro plane scate board, helped put up a windmill to power electricity, my daughter went to mexico on a mission trip and is working at getting to Germany for winter break, one son went to a mission trip to Okalahoma, and my eldest was an army ranger for 3 years and saw the world. My eldest (24) is now married and keeps telling his wife he wants a dozen kids. He is also working to get his degree as a physicians assistant. My second son works for UPS. My daughter scored high enough on her sat test to get into her first choice of college with a great grant from the school, and my youngest son is still at home, feeling lonely because every one else is gone. lol guess we are really deprived!

I guess that's the part that always irritated me. The constant comments about how deprived my kids were. ;)

Now that I only have one home I miss them horribly. I really enjoyed them being around. My current hated comment is, well now you have time for your self! I'm lucky I have hobbies! other wise I would be soooo bored!

MichellePotter said:

I was told there was "something wrong with me" for having 4 kids at 23, and when I was 25 with 5 kids I was treated to a lecture on how having children before 25 ruins your chances of ever being educated, guarantees your relationship with the father will fail, damns you to poverty, and ensures you will never travel or have any of the fun so absolutely necessary to being a well-rounded individual. Nevermind that I AM educated, have a strong marriage, am soundly middle-class, have been to Europe (only once??? my lecturer cried), and have plenty of fun as a mom of many.

Permalink Reply by Sandi on October 27, 2008 at 2:01pm

I had comments when I had three kids that it was a lot. I think by looking at me people are just shocked I have four kids. I don't mind though. I'm proud of my girlies. My grandma had 16 kids so this is nothing to me. lol

Permalink Reply by LaDonna Harris on December 4, 2008 at 12:42pm

We get lots of comments. We walk a lot in our little town but most of the people around know us too. They know we have lots and want lots more!

I don't find most people to be rude, just shocked I guess.

The toughest thing for me and for others I think is when my oldest proceeds to tell people that "we have one more brother, but he died. we're sure glad that this baby didn't die, like he did." We had a boy that lived 12 days in 2004. But how would you tell her to stop? We have but she loved him even though she was very young and we've made him a part of our life by talking about him and occasionally pulling out pictures.

Permalink Reply by Amydeanne on December 7, 2008 at 1:15pm

All of my family has been rude as soon as I was preggo with #3.. and than with 4 my one sil kept talking about her friend that had 5 children and kept commenting how horrible it would be to have so many.

I always get the "wow" you must be busy. or "you sure look tired. You don't get much sleep do you?"

Permalink Reply by bighappyfamily7 on December 7, 2008 at 2:31pm

Usually when I am grocery shopping I have the 10 month old in a sling that I wear, the 3 year old in the shopping buggy, 7 year old pushing a small shopping buggy, 12 year old pushing a buggy, and the 15 year old and I throwing items in both. lol The 21 year old rarely goes shopping with us anymore, but when he does he usually likes to push a buggy as well. If we go to Sam's Club then we use one buggy and one flat bed buggy. While shopping I usually get the usual comments of - Are they all yours? Are you nuts? Do you homeschool? You do know what causes that don't you? Are you fixed yet?
My usual comebacks are -- Yes, they are all mine -- No, I am not nuts.. I enjoy my large family -- Yes, we do homeschool so I get to spend even more time with my precious children -- Yes, we know what causes them and shoot to be honest it is lots of fun practicing (usually shuts them up fast. ), and no, I am not fixed... didn't know I was broken.

Kathy

Permalink Reply by Ruth on December 12, 2008 at 1:08pm

LaDonna,
You are not the only one that struggles with a child wanting to talk about a sibling that has moved on to heaven. Our third child only lived 2 mths and 12 days. Her older brothers would draw her in the family up in the clouds in kindergarten and the teachers would get upset. But like you say, why should we shush them they loved their sibling. It does make others uncomfortable though. :) Our two that came after her liked to hear about her. My daughter used to cry because she couldn't meet her sister. Hang in there and let the rest of the world cope with their discomfort. Your eldest will turn into a very caring and wonderful person, as will your others, as you all deal with this over time as part of your family.

My children I got to raise are all very close and always have been due to our loss.



LaDonna Harris said:

We get lots of comments. We walk a lot in our little town but most of the people around know us too. They know we have lots and want lots more!

I don't find most people to be rude, just shocked I guess.

The toughest thing for me and for others I think is when my oldest proceeds to tell people that "we have one more brother, but he died. we're sure glad that this baby didn't die, like he did." We had a boy that lived 12 days in 2004. But how would you tell her to stop? We have but she loved him even though she was very young and we've made him a part of our life by talking about him and occasionally pulling out pictures.

Permalink Reply by Holly Martin on December 17, 2008 at 7:15am

IWe're getting ready to have our fourth, but I still get a lot of comments.. like:
"Well, now I'm sure you're going to stop since you are finally getting a girl."
"Haven't you heard of birth control?"
"How many kids are you going to have?"
"You need a hobby."
"I can't imagine having that many children!"
"When are you going to stop?"

There are more, but, these are the most frequent.

Permalink Reply by Rebecca Farnham on September 4, 2010 at 2:28pm

I'm pregnant with # 5 (and couldn't be happier) and the rudest comment so far has been from my mother who turned up with a face like thunder and snapped 'isn't it about time he had something done about it'!

After the birth of my fourth child a woman asked me if I was having any more and when I replied, 'No', she said 'Good'. That peeved me and I should have said something back but didn't.

Now that I'm pregnant again I'm sure I'll get some comments so will be armed with some answers this time!

Permalink Reply by Ruth on January 5, 2011 at 12:20pm

My favorite answer...and I have always wished I had thought of it... was when a friend was pregnant with her 5th child and someone made the comment about having her husband "fixed". Her response was "Oh you mean I should break him! He works just fine as he is!" lol

Rebecca Farnham said:

I'm pregnant with # 5 (and couldn't be happier) and the rudest comment so far has been from my mother who turned up with a face like thunder and snapped 'isn't it about time he had something done about it'!

After the birth of my fourth child a woman asked me if I was having any more and when I replied, 'No', she said 'Good'. That peeved me and I should have said something back but didn't.

Now that I'm pregnant again I'm sure I'll get some comments so will be armed with some answers this time!

Permalink Reply by Ruth on January 5, 2011 at 12:22pm

My eldest has a two year old and now a set of 10 mth old twins. A lovely boy and girl. People are always telling them that they are so lucky to have twins and a boy and girl because now they can stop! They aren't ready to add another one yet but they aren't ready to say they have enough yet either.

My son would still like a dozen! My daughter in law is waiting to see how she feels in a few years. lol

Permalink Reply by Lois@ParentingTwinsandMore.com on June 14, 2011 at 11:09pm

The first comment we get is about the littlest two of our six kids...are they TWINS? I then smile because they are two but they are B/G and look NOTHING ALIKE...

But THEN they see all the rest of the kidsfor our total of 6, I get the "look" and then they put on a smile and give me the "You must have your hands full" I nod my head in agreement...

THEN they look at the teens and say, "At least you have help!" Which they do help with our 2 2yos and 5yo "Minis" as we call them. I think the teens chest poke out a little more when someone acknowledges their laborious efforts. Either that or they probably want to shrink into a hole because we look like a clan.

Old people act like big families weren't normal just 1 generation ago. My mom is one of 9kids. Oh well

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